• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Run
    • Point Mariah Trail Marathon
    • Racing Gnome Snowshoe Race
    • Castle Peak 100k
    • Group Runs
    • Snowshoe Loans
    • Code of Conduct
  • Join
    • Membership Cost & Benefits
    • Race Discounts
    • Join Us
  • Volunteer
    • Aid Station Volunteers Needed!
    • Trail Stewardship
  • About
    • About Us
    • Board of Directors
    • Contact Us
  • Calendar
  • Store
    • Shopping Cart
  • Donate

Donner Party Mountain Runners

Inform Inspire Connect

  • Member Highlights
  • Race Reports
  • Newsletter
  • Webinar Videos

The Friendliness of the Ultra Distance Runner

May 31, 2016 by Julia Millon 5 Comments

I trained on the course nearly every week for the race, this shot is from the top of the Cal Street section on the second half of the race.
I trained on the course nearly every week for the race, this shot is from the top of the Cal Street section on the second half of the race.

“The person whose calls you always take? That’s the relationship you’re in. I hope you two are very happy together.” –Nate, The Devil Wears Prada.

My relationship with running has outlasted almost every personal relationship in my life, certainly every romantic one, and has proven infinitely more complicated. I shut people out on a regular basis, but I will always answer to the call of running.

When I went to a competitive university, everyone joked that studies left no time for a personal life. After, when I worked in emergency medicine, coworkers joked that the stress would make you cynical, callous, erratic, and severely un-dateable. When I started running ultras, they said the obsession would wedge you away from your loved ones.

All three were true, for me. Or I made those outcomes happen by believing they would. Continuously choosing solitude to focus on “more important things” is an easy, natural decision for me. When I ended a relationship halfway though last year (the day before States) I looked forward to freedom and high mile weeks and going where I wanted at whatever time of day or night. I did not look back.

These things are difficult, and there were a lot of other factors, and I know I look like a jerk, but I was fine with that, and fine with being alone. Youth, dramatic tendencies, and catastrophic thinking made me view my choice as final and exclusive of possible happiness with another person. I was wrong; I never thought about how rich and plentiful the non-romantic relationships in life could be.

Running the Canyons 100K, I learned how to find joy in company, rather than feeling like I was wasting energy on giving up my attention, and my focus. Before that day, the longest I’d ever run talking with someone else was 17 miles, and only twice that I can remember. I decided not to bring music. It wasn’t my intention to chat my way through 63 miles, but forgoing the distraction of electric guitar solos seemed like the tougher, high-road thing to do, and I’m obsessed with the challenge.

In the beginning, it wasn’t raining, and the running was easy, and I let a ton of people zip past me on the downhills, which, for anyone who isn’t familiar with my running style, took an incredible amount of restraint.

I love the first 50k, from Foresthill to the Swinging Bridge and back. It feels like the chaos of running trails is simplified. There’s just this one single-track trail to run, and it either decisively climbs or descends, turning into descents and climbs running back. You always know what is expected of you. I failed running the first 50K in 2015 by running outside of my ability level and wrecking an already sick body. I should have been able to run another 31 miles that day, but spent that energy to cut a few minutes off my DNF.

The hardest part of that first half is the climb back up to Michigan Bluff from El Dorado Creek. This is the last big climb before getting back to Foresthill, and the vertical gain and descent weighs on the legs, and the motivation.

I latched on to a train of runners hiking at a focused clip, and the pain commenced. Running uphill isn’t a natural strength for me, and deeper into longer distances I start to lose control of my race. I feel it slipping away like all of my failed relationships. I settle into a dark headspace where I have legs that are too thick for running, where my ulcerative colitis makes me weaker than everyone else, where I chose to wear the wrong shoes, or socks, or shirt, or pack, or blah, blah, blah.

People can change. Half a mile into the climb I decided to stop helplessly grasping for a hand like Jack in Titanic, and climb the hill strong with the train of runners. I focused on keeping that pace instead of walking slower by myself, wondering when I would be good enough, in my life, to climb faster.

The climb was pretty silent, we were all working pretty hard. The unspoken determination was tangible, and we fed off each other to get up, and out of the canyon. Running into Michigan Bluff, the release of pain was euphoric, and I felt physically and mentally restored, completely breezing through the aid station.

In 2015, I DNF'd the Canyons. When I got home, I marked my bib, and used it as motivation for my training for the next year.
In 2015, I DNF’d the Canyons. When I got home, I marked my bib, and used it as motivation for my training for the next year.

One of the runners I climbed up with, Deanna, left with me, and we started running back to Foresthill with purpose. We started to talk about surface things, like future race plans, and hometowns. Slowly, the content got pretty personal, and by the time we hit Bath Road, a little over a mile from Foresthill Elementary, she knew the gory details of my disease, my anxieties, and all of the things that made me mad about my ex-boyfriend. And I knew quite a few things personal to her. This stretch of running felt like it lasted ten minutes, but I experienced the paradox of feeling I’d known her for years. Running into the halfway aid station, I finally understood the appeal of running with other people.

It wasn’t just that I enjoyed talking to someone, and usually it’s quite the opposite for me. I had to let go of my fear of not being good enough to accept and believe that someone wanted to run with me. I had to start believing that I was a good runner, and fast enough to not hold her back.

We set off down Cal Street, and an old hip injury started to nag at me, causing intermittent, but manageable pain. I couldn’t run with Deanna anymore, but I could still run, and chose to be happy about that.

During the descent to Cal 2, I ran with a few guys off and on, who were intensely funny, which helped to numb the pain. At Rucky Chucky, the four of us left separately, and I figured I’d be running alone for the last 15 miles. At the end of Sandy Bottoms, a flat stretch next to the river, one of the guys, Mark, caught up to me. Once the climbing started, I felt possessed to keep running, and in a daze, just kept moving forward.

“Are we really running this?” he asked me as we shuffled out of the riverbank weeds.

“Yes.”

I don’t remember much more between this stretch and the Cal 2 aid station, which is about half way up the climb back into Foresthill. Mark and I stuck together, and finally slowed to more consistent hiking once we hit the switchbacks just before Cal 2. This is when I broke out of the trance.

Turning a sharp switchback I finally looked at Mark below me, and noticed that he was wearing a ridiculous cut-off shirt. He told me that he weighed a lot more when he first started running, and got the cruel nickname “Muffin-top Mark.” Eventually he started finishing all of his races in a cutoff shirt in (celebration of?) (defiance of?) that nickname. The absurdity of the cutoff shirt, as well as running with someone called “Muffin-top Mark,” really took all the weight out of the rest of the afternoon.

We got into Cal 2, and I was really happy to see some friends from DPMR, and feel the love. I remember Mark saying something about how I made him run up there and up the Canyon. Bill Hunter, the aid station captain, gave a simple response, but for some reason it really touched me.

“Yeah, she does that.”

After a few minutes, we took off for the home stretch together, and it would be Mark’s turn to pull me up.

There was a lot less chatting for the final miles, most of it was about the present moment, when we were going to run, and how far away we were. All reservation kind of went out the window; I was cussing like a sailor, and he wasn’t afraid to tell me when I was being lazy, and I when I could run. Instead of shutting down, I chose to believe him, I ran when he said it was time, and we never stopped moving forward.

We filled up water at Cal 1, and with less then 4 miles to go, I still barely believed an end existed. At this point, we saw we were cutting close to running under 14 hours, and I told Mark that he should go ahead since he was moving stronger. He refused. We laughed about how ridiculous it was to have gone over 50 miles, and still be having fun. On this stretch, I got passed by a few women, which brought my spirits down. It must have been pretty apparent, because Mark never lost a beat in motivating me and helping me keep some positive focus. I joked with him that I felt like I had a pacer.

Once we were on the road, I thought I would feel pretty happy and relived that it would be over, but I didn’t. As we ran the first bend in the pavement, I looked and saw we were past 14 hours, and even though that ship sailed, and we were less than a mile away from the finish, we were still playing games with silly goals.

There was an orange safety cone outside of the coffee shop on Main Street.

“Run to the cone?”

“Yeah.”

We walked a little uphill to the school while Mark said hi to his exuberant family, and I told him to run it in with me.

“You start,” he said.

I did run the last few steps, and right up until the point I crossed under the arch I didn’t feel anything overwhelming or special. As soon as I stopped, and saw the clock at 14:12:XX I finally let myself realize what went down: I had run 63 miles, still running at the end, in a decent time, shaving over four hours off of my previous 100K time.

I qualified for States.

I broke down into tears, the only time in my life I have cried because I was happy.

Mark said a quick goodbye and left to celebrate with his family.

The performance overhauled the way I see myself as a runner—I no longer see myself as an unworthy running partner, and I know I can ask a lot more of myself by continuing to work hard, instead of speculating about when I’ll get better. That self worth made me feel okay making friends on the trail, and having the courage to be vulnerable and willing to work together to work harder.

It doesn’t have to come with baggage or commitment, it was fun to be able to laugh about being fat, or being sick, because otherwise you’re just alone and it’s not quite so funny. Being with another person doesn’t have to sap your energy. The self-deprecation you project is what saps your energy. At peace with myself, I’m at peace with others. Maybe I don’t have time for much of a personal life, and maybe I run too much, but running and I are very happy together, more so now because I learned how to let the right ones in.

Most people learn how to make friends in Kindergarten; I guess I’m a slow learner.

 

Thank you so much to Chaz, Pete, and Chris for putting on a great race.

Thank you to Fain for the awesome Tuesday workouts, and for being a great tough-love motivator.

Thank you to Sean F. for BEING SO STOKED!

Thank you Vespa for being magical (sue me).

Thank you Anna and Sarah banana chips for not f***ing up my day.

Post-race recovery required 4 bottles of lidocaine spray for my 3-week long poison oak rash, and one bottle of tequila for the muscles.
Post-race recovery required 4 bottles of lidocaine spray for my 3-week long poison oak rash, and one bottle of tequila for the muscles.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: General, Race Reports

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sharon Mikel says

    June 1, 2016 at 8:23 am

    Thanks for taking a non runner on your journey ! I will never be able to experience long distance running but loved hearing about yours! Well written! Keep up the good work. You are an awesome individual !!!

    Reply
  2. Sandra Campos says

    June 1, 2016 at 9:39 pm

    Love your blog! That’s what I love about running – the ability to look at yourself in the mirror and see the good as well as the bad and become a better person.

    Reply
  3. JP says

    June 2, 2016 at 5:31 am

    “I broke down into tears, the only time in my life I have cried because I was happy.”
    Beaurtiful . Thank you for your ‘race’ report .

    Reply
  4. Joe Hayes says

    June 26, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    love your blog. Many are too hard on themselves but like you realize they have worth and can connect and have fun with people. It makes life so much more fun. I hope you keep putting yourself out there. I just read a book that says success follows being happy and connected, not the other way around. I find this true in my life and in your running story. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Become a Member Today »

Subscribe to our email newsletter & announcements!

Racing Gnome Snowshoe Race

snowshoe race
Join us on Feb 12, 2023!
Read race details

Connect in Person

Feb
7
Tue
5:30 pm Back at 5:30pm! And pending weat... @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Back at 5:30pm! And pending weat... @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Feb 7 @ 5:30 pm – 6:45 pm
Back at 5:30pm! And pending weather! DPMR Weekly Social Run & Hangout @ Alibi Public House, Truckee @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Keep an eye on Facebook for cancellation due to weather. And, because of shortening days, our weekly social runs on Tuesday evenings are now meeting at 5:00pm instead of 5:45pm Photo credit: Steve Woo These[...]
Feb
12
Sun
8:00 am The Racing Gnome Snowshoe Race @ Prosser OHV Parking Area, Truckee
The Racing Gnome Snowshoe Race @ Prosser OHV Parking Area, Truckee
Feb 12 @ 8:00 am – 12:00 pm
The Racing Gnome Snowshoe Race @ Prosser OHV Parking Area, Truckee
Join us for our annual Racing Gnome Snowshoe on February 12th, 2023! There will be two options – a 5K and a 10K distance race. All experience levels are encouraged to race! Details can be[...]
Feb
14
Tue
5:30 pm Back at 5:30pm! And pending weat... @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Back at 5:30pm! And pending weat... @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Feb 14 @ 5:30 pm – 6:45 pm
Back at 5:30pm! And pending weather! DPMR Weekly Social Run & Hangout @ Alibi Public House, Truckee @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Keep an eye on Facebook for cancellation due to weather. And, because of shortening days, our weekly social runs on Tuesday evenings are now meeting at 5:00pm instead of 5:45pm Photo credit: Steve Woo These[...]
Feb
21
Tue
5:30 pm Back at 5:30pm! And pending weat... @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Back at 5:30pm! And pending weat... @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Feb 21 @ 5:30 pm – 6:45 pm
Back at 5:30pm! And pending weather! DPMR Weekly Social Run & Hangout @ Alibi Public House, Truckee @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Keep an eye on Facebook for cancellation due to weather. And, because of shortening days, our weekly social runs on Tuesday evenings are now meeting at 5:00pm instead of 5:45pm Photo credit: Steve Woo These[...]
Feb
28
Tue
5:30 pm Back at 5:30pm! And pending weat... @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Back at 5:30pm! And pending weat... @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Feb 28 @ 5:30 pm – 6:45 pm
Back at 5:30pm! And pending weather! DPMR Weekly Social Run & Hangout @ Alibi Public House, Truckee @ Trout Creek Pocket Park
Keep an eye on Facebook for cancellation due to weather. And, because of shortening days, our weekly social runs on Tuesday evenings are now meeting at 5:00pm instead of 5:45pm Photo credit: Steve Woo These[...]
View Calendar
Add
  • Add to Timely Calendar
  • Add to Google
  • Add to Outlook
  • Add to Apple Calendar
  • Add to other calendar
  • Export to XML

Connect Online

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

See us on Instagram

dpmrunners

What are you waiting for? Register for Racing Gnom What are you waiting for? Register for Racing Gnome now and join the fun! 5k & 10k courses. Check the link in bio for more info!
Get to know Martin Benes, our Member Highlight for Get to know Martin Benes, our Member Highlight for February. Link in Bio. Photo Credit: Scott’s Shots Photography.
The full moon and the fog put on a show for our fi The full moon and the fog put on a show for our first snowshoe run of the year!! What a special evening! 
Did you know we have a snowshoe loaner program? And a snowshoe race in February?

📸 @travelwoo @antoinemcgrath @chrisinouye @justimaginemktg 

#unafraid #trailrunning #runningcommunity #runninglife #runningmotivation #donnerpartymountainrunners #tahoe #tahoerunners #mountainrunners #DPMR #TruckeeTahoeTrailRunning #WeRunTrails #ultrarunning #snow #snowshoe #fullmoon #fullmoonrunning
January's member highlight is the fabulous Bruna G January's member highlight is the fabulous Bruna Gusmao! Learn more about Bruna and why she is such an integral part of the DPMR community! Link in bio. 

#DPMR #unafraid #donnerpartymountainrunners #weloveourmembers
Full Moon Snowshoe Run tomorrow Jan 6th Join us t Full Moon Snowshoe Run tomorrow Jan 6th

Join us tomorrow for a run lead by our one and only Renee! Just a bit of additional fresh powder to top off the magic of the snowshoe run. No snowshoe... No problem, we will have some that you can borrow.

See link in bio for details.

#unafraid #trailrunning #runningcommunity #runninglife #runningmotivation #donnerpartymountainrunners #tahoe #tahoerunners #mountainrunners #DPMR #TruckeeTahoeTrailRunning #WeRunTrails #ultrarunning #snow #snowshoe #fullmoon #fullmoonrunning
Join us for our annual Racing Gnome Snowshoe on Fe Join us for our annual Racing Gnome Snowshoe on February 12th, 2023! There will be two events – a 5K and a 10K distance race. All experience levels are encouraged to race!  Learn more and sign up today! https://donnerpartymountainrunners.com/snowshoe-races/
❄️ Explore Winter Wonderland with snowshoes ❄️

Did you know DPMR has a snowshoe loaner program? Learn more in the newsletter (link in bio) and get ready to enjoy the snow.

#unafraid #trailrunning #runningcommunity #runninglife #runningmotivation #donnerpartymountainrunners #tahoe #tahoerunners #mountainrunners #DPMR #TruckeeTahoeTrailRunning #WeRunTrails #ultrarunning #winterwonderland #snowshoeing #snowrun @atlassnowshoes
Still looking for some holiday gifts? Show off you Still looking for some holiday gifts? Show off your club pride with the newest in DPMR swag. New bandanas and license plate frames have arrived! These items are great for holiday giving or the perfect treat for yourself. Head on over to the store and check out all that’s new (and some super-sale items too)!

#unafraid #trailrunning #runningcommunity #runninglife #runningmotivation #donnerpartymountainrunners #tahoe #tahoerunners #mountainrunners #DPMR #TruckeeTahoeTrailRunning #WeRunTrails #ultrarunning #swag #bandana #licenseplate #holidaygifts
Looking for some reading while you cosy up inside Looking for some reading while you cosy up inside and watch the snow? Check out our #bookofthemonth by @aude_hofleitner in this month's newsletter. And maybe you'll use the weekend to snooze off!

#whywesleep #snowday #unafraid #trailrunning #runningcommunity #runninglife #runningmotivation #donnerpartymountainrunners #tahoe #tahoerunners #mountainrunners #DPMR #TruckeeTahoeTrailRunning #WeRunTrails #ultrarunning #whywesleepmatthewwalker
The DPMR Annual Pub Run is happening on Sunday. Se The DPMR Annual Pub Run is happening on Sunday. See you in Meeks Bay by 8am (come early for coffee!)

As usual when DPMR organizes a party, the weather invites itself. It is going to be chilly 🥶 and there may be a bit of snow towards the top from overnight flurries ❄️ . Dress accordingly and that will make the post run fun in the pub even more enjoyable!

#unafraid #trailrunning #runningcommunity #runninglife #runningmotivation #donnerpartymountainrunners #tahoe #tahoerunners #mountainrunners #DPMR #TruckeeTahoeTrailRunning #WeRunTrails #ultrarunning
Our runners are ready to shred! After the usual T Our runners are ready to shred! 
After the usual Tuesday social run, DPMR runners joined "Go With The Flow" organized by @tahoemountainsports and @ortovox at @alibialeworks and are getting ready to hit the slopes this winter. It was a fundraiser for @savycenter and @antoinemcgrath won the BIG prize!! Next one is Nov 15th, block your calendar, and before that, see you on Sunday for the Pub to Pub run.

#unafraid #trailrunning #runningcommunity #runninglife #runningmotivation #donnerpartymountainrunners #tahoe #tahoerunners #mountainrunners #DPMR #TruckeeTahoeTrailRunning #WeRunTrails #ultrarunning #fundraiser #skiseason #skimo #backcountryskiing
Cheers to the Donner Party! Join us for the Annual Cheers to the Donner Party! Join us for the Annual DPMR Pub Run.

October 23, from Meeks Bay (Meek Creek Trailhead across from the Meeks Bay Resort) to Auld Dubliner in Palisades Village, Olympic Valley. As always, the full course is 50 kilometers. The only “aid” station will be exclusively serving whiskey. More details on the website.

#unafraid #trailrunning #runningcommunity #runninglife #runningmotivation #donnerpartymountainrunners #tahoe #tahoerunners #mountainrunners #DPMR #TruckeeTahoeTrailRunning #WeRunTrails #ultrarunning #pubrun #donnerparty
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Footer

Run with Us

  • Group Runs
  • Code of Conduct

Race with Us

  • Point Mariah Trail Marathon
  • Racing Gnome Snowshoe Race
  • Castle Peak 100k
  • Discount Codes

Join Us

  • Membership Cost & Benefits
  • Join Us
  • DPMR Gear
  • Donate

About Us

  • About Us
  • Volunteer
  • Board
  • Contact Us

© 2023 · Donner Party Mountain Runners · Truckee, California · Website by Tahoe Web Works